


Sunshine & Bullets

by Kookie_and_Banana_Milk



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Author doesn't know what they're doing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Maybe a happy ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything, Therapy, Ugh, oof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22028485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kookie_and_Banana_Milk/pseuds/Kookie_and_Banana_Milk
Summary: After Jung Hoseok saves Min Yoongi from ending his life, the two find each other growing close. Yoongi gets to see just how great life can be, but unfortunately, his trauma comes back for him, and he's not sure how much longer he can stay alive.
Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	1. Some Warnings

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy... so, this is the first story I'm posting on this website, and I'm super duper nervous about that. I've posted stories on another writing website before, and usually it gets good feedback, BUT this is the first story that someone from my family will most likely see, and then other people in my family might see it too so...
> 
> Unfortunately for me, I can't tone down the angst I put into my stories. I'm scared of how that's gonna go. And I had to start off with exposing that I'm total trash for BTS, which isn't the worse thing in the world, but it's still a big ugh moment for me. But, I can't just NOT post on this site, so I'm going to take that leap, and hope that it's good.

* * *

I feel like it's important that I post some warnings before I actually post the first chapter of the story. (Which won't be right now, but hopefully I can push through it and get it posted earlier in the morning or sometime tomorrow.) I think this will be a good thing for me because 1) I can get some of my nerves out, and 2) Whoever happens to find this story before the first chapter is posted, _or_ after it has been posted, can decide whether or not they think they want to read it. I always like to have a heads up on things like this.

Okay, so I already have one warning in place: **V** **iolence**. Now, I'm still not sure how good I am with this. I've written _a lot_ of stories in the past with gore, but I'm not sure how it affected people, so I don't know if it's so over the top that it grosses people out, it's just enough to get the point across, or it doesn't affect people at all. But, I'm pretty sure gore and violence are two different things. But there _is_ violence in here, especially at the beginning. Hopefully it's not too much, but I also don't want it to be a little bit.

Anyway, onto the next warning: **Maybe g** **ore.** I say "maybe" because I haven't even finished chapter one of this story. I feel like when the story gets closer to the end, the gore will show up... and maybe more violence as well. Again, I feel like violence and gore are two different things, but I'm not 100% sure.

Third warning: **This is a male x male story! If you are homophobic trash, get out of here! I'm am _not_ playing around with y'all! **This is also a work of **fiction**. I know that Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok from BTS are not in a relationship in real life. If they were together, I would definitely support it, but I also definitely support the fact that they have an amazing and beautiful friendship in real life. I'm just trying to make a story here, and I saw them as the two people in it.

Fourth warning: **This is a BTS fanfiction! If you don't like BTS, or K-Pop in general, I don't even know why you're here.** (Unless you're someone from my family that happens to be reading this and just want to finally read one my stories. Y'all can carry on. Love you.)

Fifth warning, and oh boy, do I not want to put this: **So.................... there are parts....... with attempted suicide.............** but that's the whole starting point of the story. And it's _attempted_. Sweet little Yoongi is alive for the beginning and middle of the story, and _maybe_ the end of it. You guys have to read to know if he makes it through okay. That's how I'm getting you to read it :) I just have to hope that it's good to keep y'all's attention and interest ;-;

Sixth warning: **Abusive parents,** and this happens sooooooo much in angst stories, but unfortunately, this is something that happens a lot in real life and a key point in the story. Personally for me, I have an amazing mom and dad, but my biological father was a _horrible disgusting pig_. Thank God, he can't do anything to anyone no more. And I'm 100% sure that Yoongi and Hoseok's parents in real life are awesome, but in this story, Yoongi's mother in _the **worst**_ mother ever, and Hoseok's parents argue with each other a lot, and they completely ignore Hoseok unless he steps in, and when that happens, they lash out on him. **There are a many different kinds of abuse in here.**

Seventh warning: **Depression and other mental health issues** , and it's _not_ just from Yoongi. Our little sunshine Hoseok might be a happy person, but he too suffers in this story. He just copes with this problems differently from Yoongi.

Eighth and last warning: **I _suck_ at updating things, so it'll take a long time for this story to get finished.** I struggle with depression, so there are many days where I don't have the energy to pull out my laptop and work on a story, and it happens with a lot of other stuff I do too, no matter how much I want to do it. Also, I don't like the 8th spelled out. It looks so weird...

I will put a warning at the beginning of each chapter when needed so you can have a heads up. I will also put a little warning type symbol before and after the triggering parts. It's most likely going to be "--", so when you see those, you know there will be a warning. I will put a reminder for what symbol to look out for along with the warnings at the beginning.

Well, I think that covers it. I'm still nervous since there is so much going on, and there's probably going to be even more stuff that I need to add on to this thing as the story progresses. I know there's one more warning I'm definitely probably going to put up, but I'm hoping that I can work around that so I don't have to. I'm just going to have to see how that goes. And once again, at least one person from my family will see this story, but hopefully it's good and they don't I'm absolutely insane after this. I wish it wasn't an angsty and depressing story like, but there are fluff and wholesome parts in it, so that's something to look forwards to. It's also my first story on this website. I never thought I'd end up putting something on here, so that makes me extremely happy! 

I hope you guys enjoy the story. I just have to finish chapter one and get it uploaded first.


	2. Cold Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The first chapter. I'm honestly still very nervous about this, but hopefully it's good. Maybe not great, but good. That's better than absolutely horrible.
> 
> I'm not sure what exact warnings to put in this, since nothing really happens that can call for any of the warnings. Except attempted suicide. Yep, I'm jumping right into this story. I can't really avoid that part of the story though, since it's the whole thing that caused the main characters in this story to meet. Also violence and gore. Not super major, since I kept it vague, but as the story goes on and more things about the two get revealed, it'll get more detailed. Maybe not too detailed since I suck at stuff like that, but hopefully it'll be enough to get the message through. I'll worry about that when it gets to that point. The abuse from Yoongi's mother is also mentioned, but it's not talked about in detail, and what exactly has been done is not brought up either. I'm basically trying to hint at things, but not go into detail until I feel the time is right to bring up what exactly has happened and so on. I also use cuss words in my stories. A lot of people do, but I feel like I should bring it up just in case someone's not okay with that. It doesn't happen that often though.
> 
> So, that's that. I really hope you guys enjoy it. Hopefully I don't take forever with the second chapter.

* * *

Hoseok stood at the front of an abandoned park gate that lead out to miles of woods. He came here to get away from his parent’s arguing for the third time that day, and he saw something taped to the gate as he walked in. He held onto the thin sheet of lined paper tightly as he read it slowly.

_No one’s probably going to find this, but I figured I’d give it a try anyway. They do say that people who leave notes are the ones who want to be saved, and I guess it would be nice if someone I care about_ **_does_ ** _try to save me, but I’m not counting on it. If anyone cares, and would like to save me, I’m in the woods hiding in a ditch blocked by a huge dead oak tree and a pile of dead leaves. Not that it matters. I’m probably dead already._

_\- Min Yoongi_

There was an uncomfortable feeling lingering in the cold air as Hoseok stared at the paper blankly. Thoughts swarmed his mind as he read through it more and more, but only one stuck in his mind. _Do I have time to save him?_ The paper couldn’t have been left yesterday. It would be soaked from the rain that dragged on until around four this morning. That still left about eight hours of time though. There might be no hope in saving him, but it all depended on when the boy got here. He could have came to the park right after the rain stopped, or waited for things to dry up some.

Hoseok also took into account that in the note this guy said he wouldn’t mind being saved. He’s probably waiting it out still. On the other hand, he said he wasn’t really counting on someone he knew showing up to save him, so he might actually be dead.

_Should I at least try?_

Hoseok let that thought linger in his head for about a minute, not answering it. He focused on the air around him, and the words on the paper. He started to walk forward into the rundown park, then gradually picked up speed as he passed the wooden playground equipment covered with mildew. He kept going as he ran past hundreds of dead trees. The paper was clenched in his hand just in case he needed it. Thank god he knew where this boy was. He knew how to get there quickly.

He just had to hope he wasn’t too late.

\----------

Yoongi looked down at the freezing, charcoal colored gun in his hand. It was loaded with one bullet, and ready for when he finally decided it was time. Memories flashed in his mind as he stared at it. Images of his mother yelling at his father as she threw things at him. The times where he himself got used and manipulated by her. He always thought he could forgive her. He tried so hard only because it was his mother, but it didn’t matter how much he tried, and the bitch didn’t deserve it. She didn’t even care for it, and no one else helped him. They always thought he was lying. He didn’t _look_ or _act_ abused; like he was suffering. He acted _normal_ . It just seemed like he _wanted attention_ from everyone. Well, if anyone cared at this point, they’d be looking for him. They would hopefully see that note, and care enough to come get him. He just waited a few minutes longer for that to happen. He didn’t know why. No one was even going to check in that old, creepy, shutdown park. No one has came to it for almost thirty years now. Only him.

Yoongi sighed as he saw the time on his phone. It was one sixteen. He had been sitting in the ditch for the whole morning, and nothing has come up about anyone looking for him. No phone call, text, or signs of a person around looking for him. Not even his girlfriend was wondering, or his two best friends. “I guess no one really does care,” Yoongi told himself as he stood up from the dirt covered ground. He put his phone in the pocket of his jacket, then hesitantly put the gun up to his head. A quick and painless death. That’s what he wanted for the last few seconds of his life.

_Maybe I’ll finally be happy,_ he thought as he was just about to pull the trigger, then he heard someone jump into the ditch. He put the gun down quickly in shock, and saw someone with a flashlight run up to him.

“Yoongi? _Min_ Yoongi?” The boy asked out of breath as he stood a few feet away.

“Y-yeah,” Yoongi confirmed slowly while sitting the gun down. “Who are… you?”

“My name is Jung Hoseok,” he said while holding out his hand with the paper in it. “I saw your note while I was on my way over here. I didn’t think anyone else knew about this spot, but I’m glad _I_ did.”

“ _You_ saw the note?” Yoongi asked while looking down at the hand held out towards him. He felt his heart strain against his chest as he looked at it in the stranger’s hand. It wasn’t supposed to be there. It should have been in a close friend or family member’s hand, and they should have been the one in front of him right now. Not this boy. Not someone he didn't know. He wasn't waiting for a stranger. He wanted someone he knew to be here, even if he hated all of them at the moment. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok answered. He opened the wrinkled paper and held it. “I read it maybe ten times as I argued with myself about coming here to help you, or going back home.”

Yoongi now stared at Hoseok’s face in disbelief as the boy kept talking. This tanned skinned, round faced guy... _he_ was the one who found the note, and came to look for him even though there was the possibility of Yoongi being dead already. How was it not someone else; someone who should've cared and would really be relieved to know Yoongi was okay and still alive. Six hours, and no one cared enough to come find him. No one fucking _cared_! _HOW?!_

Tears slipped down Yoongi’s cheeks as that sunk in, and he bald up his fist as his breath started to pick up. “Why?” Yoongi asked in a low voice.

Hoseok stopped talking when he heard how upset Yoongi was getting. The light tanned boy looked like he was just betrayed and heartbroken, so Hoseok answered his question in the gentlest way he could. “I was actually coming down here, and I just happened to see the note on the gate.” The truth. That was a good way to hopefully get Yoongi calmed down, and maybe Hoseok could even get some answers to what made Yoongi feel like he should end his life in the first place.

“But _why_ was it _you_?!” He snapped in a raised voice.

_Okay,_ Hoseok thought to himself, _that_ **_didn’t_ ** _work. What do I say now?_ Hoseok quickly thought of an answer, practically praying that it wouldn't upset the other anymore, before he said, “I- I didn’t want you to kill yourself; even if I don’t kno-”

“Too _fucking **bad**_ then,” Yoongi cried with spite backing it up as he picked the gun back up and pointed it to his head again. “You wasted your time trying to do that.”

Hoseok’s breath got caught in the back of his throat as his heart fell to his stomach and his eyes widened. Yoongi was just about to pull the trigger, when Hoseok shouted, “Wait!” Yoongi ended up taking his finger off the trigger, and stared at the other intensely. Hoseok walked up to him slowly. Yoongi put his finger back on the trigger as a warning, making Hoseok freeze in place immediately. “Yoongi, I- I know I’m not the person that you wanted to see, but your letter said you would be okay if someone found you, and I did.”

Yoongi didn’t respond to that. He just got closer to pulling the trigger for real that time. There was silence and a thick layer of discomfort in the atmosphere as one waited for the other to do something. Yoongi kept a close eye on Hoseok to make sure no sudden moves were made as he took a good look at him. This was the last person he would ever see, so why not? It’s better than looking at the dark brown walls surrounding them.

This boy had short hair that was a warm, bright golden orange color. Almost amber. That was really the only thing Yoongi could focus on in all honesty. It was like… sunlight. It made him feel less cold on the inside, and brought good memories to his mind. Ones from his childhood with his father. Then the bad ones started to take over again. His father was gone, and only his mother remained as the happiness and innocence of childhood crumbled right in front of him. The color of Hoseok’s hair kept the happy thoughts barely there, and it put Yoongi through mixed emotions as he started to second guess his decision.

Yoongi smiled and laughed while tears fell down his face. It made him look insane, and put Hoseok in confusion and worry. “Why are you laughing? Are you okay?” He asked while taking a few small steps forward.

Yoongi shook his head as he said honestly, “No, I’m not. Your hair color just- It’s-” Yoongi couldn't get the thought out. It was so scrambled up with the mixed feelings of happiness, sadness, confusion, and anger as he wondered what the hell he was trying to accomplish. He knew he didn't want to be here anymore. He knew it was because he felt like no one cared for him. That was a full fact before Hoseok came in, and now Yoongi was wondering if he was just being over dramatic about his problems, and that everyone _he_ cared about actually returned it. It made his heart feel like someone was squeezing it, and the laughter was gone as the pain and confusion fully set in. 

Hoseok walked forward a bit more, now only about two feet away from Yoongi. “I think what you need to do right now is let go of the gun, and sit down,” he said in a firm voice, but saying it with a soft, sympathetic smile to Yoongi. “You’re obviously in lot of pain right now, and you definitely need someone to talk to. I'll sit here and listen, but you _don't_ need to go through with ending your life like this.”

Yoongi was now focused on that smile. It reminded him of his father's in a way. The one he had always saw when he was sad and needed someone to bring his spirits up. The smile that was taking away from him before he could really appreciate it. Yoongi tried to say something as he looked Hoseok in the eyes, but his voice was very choked up as he struggled to breath properly.

"Put the gun down, Yoongi," he heard Hoseok's voice faintly. It sounded distant, even though the boy was right in front of him. His mind couldn't focus on it. Everything just seemed like it was quickly fading away from him the more he stood in that spot.

He tried once more to say something, but it was still hard; still so painful. He finally mouthed, "I can’t do this,” while shaking his head slowly. He started to pull the trigger as his body trembled, and he watched as the small smile on Hoseok's face quickly went away as he noticed. He shouted out something, but Yoongi didn't pay attention enough to hear it. Hoseok stepped forward as quickly as he could while grabbing onto the hand that held the gun. A loud bang was heard after Hoseok pulled Yoongi’s hand forward, and the two fell onto the ground. The bullet had already made an impact before they landed, and blood started to soil the dirt underneath them as everything started to go black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaaaaaay, so that was the first chapter. I'm gonna be honest, I'm soooooo nervous about posting this chapter, but at least I re-read it a bunch of times, and even read it out loud quietly to myself to make sure I didn't make any mistakes. I'm sure that there are still mistakes though, so I'm so so so so so sorry. Anyway... yeah, that's the chapter. The next chapter is going to be less chaotic, so that's something to look forward to.


End file.
